Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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