I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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