just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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