Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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