Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
