yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
