Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
