I want to make a zoo with you.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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