Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
You're like the curious george of whores
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Someone came in the potted fern
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Randomize
