I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
