Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I have already put on my inside pants.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize