I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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