what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
