You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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