Do you still have your period?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
