I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
