No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize