Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
