That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
