you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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