im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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