Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
