i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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