she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
