Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
My feet surprised me
Randomize
