But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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