They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
