the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
