anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
