yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
