Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
