we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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