dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
