I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
