Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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