at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
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