Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
