Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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