Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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