i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
