I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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