So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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