I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He felt like a one man threesome
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
