If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
