dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Randomize