so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
