Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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