You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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