Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
