Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
