Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
