They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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