And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I want to stick my p in your. b.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
