i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
