I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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