You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
