never play flip cup with pint glasses
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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