White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
nutella sex= disaster
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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