My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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